


decrepit and desolate

by clxude



Series: victuuri week; 2017 [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Experimental Style, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, idk what this is don't ask me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-23 11:08:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9653342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clxude/pseuds/clxude
Summary: They lay in bed, and Yuuri watches him - the steady rise and fall of his rest, the whistle of his breath, the moonlight on his skin. The simplicity of the moment, like the eye of a hurricane. Breathe deeply, for it has only just begun.





	

**Author's Note:**

> victuuri week day 4 - free day  
> i knew i wouldn't have time for every prompt, so here's the first of what i did manage to do  
> betaed by rosywiki/kxrasuno like always

_ HIS BODY IS A TEMPLE -  _

 

So get on your knees and pray, ask the stars for forgiveness. Peer up at him and allow him to peel open your soul, cut out a piece of your heart - replace it with some of his own, if you’re lucky.

 

…

 

They lay in bed, and Yuuri watches him - the steady rise and fall of his rest, the whistle of his breath, the moonlight on his skin. The simplicity of the moment, like the eye of a hurricane. Breathe deeply, for it has only just begun.

 

_ … _

 

_ HIS BODY IS A TEMPLE -  _

 

So treat him like he’s fine china, porcelain, a statue saved from antiquity. Smooth to the touch, warmed in sunlight. Pristine - chips and fissures and all. Pray before him, kiss his hand. Treat him like an untouchable deity, and he will remain unbroken.

 

…

 

Victor wakes slowly, bleary eyed. Yuuri watches him, head resting on his hand. Their legs are still tangled together beneath the blankets, bare skin pressed together. Victor smiles at him, skin stretched tight. Yuri returns it, but it's painful, tugging at the seams. He returns it, but it’s hollow.

 

…

 

_ HIS BODY IS A TEMPLE -  _

 

Worship him, give him the world. Touch him and ascend, become something greater than yourself.

 

…

 

His parents taught him that proximity is pain, relationships are weakness. Open your heart, and you will only get hurt. And he closed himself off, followed their advice for as long as he could. And then Victor came to Japan, and that was the end of that.

 

…

 

_ HIS BODY IS A TEMPLE -  _

 

The kind that rots, creaks in the wind, empty and cold. Long forgotten and overgrown, dedicated to dead gods. You can pray, ask for a revival, but that’s no guaranteed happy ending.

 

…

 

“You’ve been cold lately,” Victor says, eyes wide, cold hands on Yuuri’s face. “Talk to me.”

 

Victor doesn’t pull away, but doesn’t move closer, either.

 

“Tell me what’s wrong, Yuri.”

 

…

 

_ HIS BODY IS A TEMPLE -  _

 

And the marble cuts like ice. Red from your blood, pristine from his distance. He isn’t untouchable, he isn’t a god. But he still holds you back, attacks when you draw too close.

 

…

 

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” he says, licking his lips, looking everywhere but Victor’s face. “I don’t think there is anything to say, anyway. Anything that you want to hear, at least.”

 

“But I want to know.” Victor pulls him closer, until Yuuri could tilt forward a centimeter and kiss him. “Why you’ve been so distant. What happened, Yura?”

 

…

 

_ HIS BODY IS A TEMPLE -  _

 

And he’s waiting for you.

 

…

 

“I’m afraid to be hurt,” he says, the words resting on his tongue like shattered glass.

 

“Does my opinion not matter, then?”

 

He’s falling, and the wind and gravity chip away from his carefully constructed exterior with every passing millisecond. He’s falling, crashing down to Earth, and Victor isn’t waiting to catch him.

 

…

 

_ HIS BODY IS A TEMPLE -  _

 

And you’ve come to worship, haven’t you? A pilgrim from distant lands, dirty clothes and weary eyes? But when your journey ends, it’s not where you expect.

 

…

 

“Of course it does. I just - it affects me, as well,” he says, regretting it the moment he finishes saying the words.

 

“You’re only thinking about yourself, Yuuri. Do you honestly think blocking me out will stop you from getting hurt?”

 

“I thought it was the best possible - “

 

“You’re so stupid, Katsuki Yuuri.” 

 

…

 

_ HIS BODY IS A TEMPLE -  _

 

And your touch is sacrilege, words blasphemous. You come, head tilted upwards, a prayer of forgiveness on your lips.

 

It never comes.

 

…

 

“I’m - I’m not,” he argues, the words bitter and heavy on his tongue. “I’m not.”

 

“Then take it back. Tell me the truth, Yuuri.” Victor’s eyes are glassy, waiting to shatter. “Tell me the truth.”

 

…

 

_ HIS BODY IS A TEMPLE -  _

 

And not a single stone has been left unturned. The air is filled with dust, the ground covered in rubble. It’s too late - what was once here has been destroyed, and there is no one but yourself to blame.

 

…

 

“I didn’t want to be hurt,” he says again.

 

“Don’t I - “ Victor begins, but Yuuri stops him.

 

“I’ve never gotten close to anyone. You’re not the first,” he tries to laugh, but it comes out more as a choked off sob. “No one gets hurt that way.”

 

“I love you, Yuuri, so don’t say no one will get hurt.”

 

And it’s like a shard of ice to the heart, a toe pick cutting across his gut, and he knows - this is the end.

 

…

 

_ HIS BODY IS A TEMPLE -  _

 

And there is nothing left. You can collect the rubble, rebuild the once great temple, but is it really the same? Can you really undo what has been done?

 

…

 

“You can’t  _ just,”  _ he splutters. His hands comb through his hair, the heel of his palms digging into his eyes. “You can’t just say you love me, Victor.”

 

“But I do. Isn’t that enough?”

 

The dip of his mouth, the depth of his eyes - it’s too close. Yuuri pulls back, doing his best to breathe. 

 

_ “Hurt  _ me, Yuuri.” Low, seductive, breathy against Yuuri’s mouth as Victor once again leans in closer. “Or are you scared? Are you afraid you might  _ break?” _

 

…

 

_ HIS BODY IS A TEMPLE -  _

 

And it means nothing, in the grand scheme of things. There’s a million more like you, a million more better than you. So get on your knees, beg for forgiveness, but at the end of the day, it doesn’t mean a fucking thing.

 

…

 

Victor kisses him, and it feels like ice is being packed into his mouth. He wants to pull back, but the ice is beginning to thaw, slip between his lips in quiet moans.

 

_ ‘Does this hurt?’ _

 

_ ‘Shut up.’ _

 

Hands dig into his hips, and god, this could be a dream, a fuzzy image in the moments before his demise, but Yuuri welcomes it, relishes in it.

 

_ ‘Are you still afraid to be hurt, Yura?’ _

 

_ ‘Just don’t drop me.’ _

 

…

  
And his body is a temple, dedicated to dead gods. Pray to him, and if you’re worthy, maybe there will be a happy ending.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr - violet-boy & mother-iwa-chan & claude-lit  
> twitter - cactixix  
> comments/kudos/requests are appreciated


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